Florilegia: The Whole Brain Child

One of the benefits of working as a school psychologist is that I spend a lot of time thinking and learning about mental health. Though I read many books and attend annual conferences in order to improve my professional practice, I also learn (and re-learn!) so much that applies to my own day-to-day life.

Consider this quote from The Whole Brain Child, by Dan Siegel:

Feelings are like the weather. Rain is real, and we’d be foolish to stand in a downpour and act as if it weren’t actually raining. But we’d be just as foolish to expect that the sun will never reappear.

How often do I feel stuck in a feeling? In anxious or sad moments, it’s so easy to believe that those feelings will last FOR-E-VER. This book explains, however, that on average, a feeling comes and goes in 90 seconds.Yes, really. 90 SECONDS.

Okay, sure. 90 seconds is not the whole story: our feelings can be re-triggered over and over by our thoughts and environment. But here’s the thing. It’s not infinite. All feelings are inherently temporary, just like all clouds, all storms, all sunshine.

A few months ago, I visited a friend who lives in Hawaii. One night we drove to the beach to watch a sunset, but by the time we arrived, it was R-A-I-N-I-N-G hard. Despite the weather, we still wanted to watch the sunset, so we decided to try waiting and watching from our car.

I know that the “rain” of our lives can be unbelievably painful. There are times when the rain becomes a hurricane and the devastation is inescapable. It is helpful to remember that even those moments – perhaps especially those moments – are not permanent.

After only a few minutes of sitting in the car, the clouds began to clear and the sun came out just in time to set. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever witnessed.

So… we’re never stuck. Never ever. Eventually – probably sooner than you think – the clouds will pass and we’ll all find ourselves standing on a beach, watching a glowing sunset

Florilegia: Oathbringer

I read a lot of books. I always have and I hope I always will. There’s nothing like experiencing an entirely different life or seeing brand new worlds or diving into the depths of knowledge books contain.

Whether a book is fictional or factual, I always learn something about myself or the world that is worth remembering. To help me remember all of those things, I’ve kept notebooks where I write down my favorite book quotes or “sparklets”. I recently learned that these notebooks can be called florilegia … isn’t that a pretty word? I feel fancy just saying it. By putting sparklets from different books together in a florilegium, you end up finding wisdom and insight that you might not have otherwise.

I don’t think I want this to be a book blog, but I do spend a lot of time reading. It’s a big part of who I am and I want to share that with people. So I had an idea…

Without further adieu, here is my very first Florilegium post:

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

“He’d once believed he had been four men in his life, but now he saw he’d grossly underestimated. He hadn’t lived as two, or four, or six men – he had lived as thousands, for each day he became someone slightly different. He hadn’t changed in one giant leap, but across a million little steps.”
Oathbringer, p. 1185

Every morning, I wake up as a brand new person, a version of myself that didn’t exist the day before. Our entire beings are constantly in the process of imperceptible changes that add up to monumental differences over time. If the past-Amandas from 5 years ago or 10 years ago were to meet me today, I’m not sure they would recognize me. I’m not even 100% sure they would like me.

Almost two years ago, I got a small tattoo on my right forearm, in part to remind myself that change is a part of life, and that it’s okay to allow yourself to become someone new.

(If you’re wondering, the tattoo was inspired by the eleventh doctor in Doctor Who… he wears a bow tie and bow ties are cool.)

I don’t think I spend enough time honoring all of those people I have been. My past selves spent a lot of time trying and working and laughing and suffering and learning and crying and dreaming… and without all of that, I would be a completely different human than I am today.

Regardless of the mistakes my past selves have made and the ones my future selves most certainly will make, they deserve to be celebrated and thanked. Same goes for you and all the people you have been or will be.

Shout out to my fave podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text for teaching me about florilegia. ♥

Sacred

It’s no secret that I’ve been all over the map in terms of my religiosity and spirituality throughout my life. I was raised Catholic, considered myself atheist for a couple of years in high school, and joined the Mormon church during my freshman year of college. I was Mormon through all of my college years, even serving as missionary in Texas for 18 months between my junior and senior years. By the time I was 24, I found that the scale had tipped. The church was doing more harm than good in my life, so I did the only thing I could do. I left.

Where does that leave me now?

My first answer is that I don’t really know… and I’m okay with that.

But, my second answer is…

I believe there is not one “truth with a capital T”, but many. I believe there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all. I believe that people should seek out what works for them.

I am learning that all things can be sacred, if you want them to be. To be clear, when I say sacred, I don’t mean god-like, or even something that should be worshipped. To me, if something is sacred, it is important enough to take seriously. Important enough to think deeply about. Important enough to seek out.

The more we hold things sacred, the more they give back to us. I think I’ve been surprised to learn that I don’t need religion for that learning and growth to occur.

To me, these things are sacred…

quality time — Quality time with loved ones

: The smell of rain… Can imagine it from this picture?

20130927_120455 — … especially Harry Potter

What do you hold sacred? What does it bring to your life?

Shout-out to the wonderful podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text for helping me stretch my thinking about what it means to hold something as sacred.